Six Years

Six years... and oh what changes, blessings, curses, bliss, and hell those six years have brought.

I've grown. I'm better, I'm stronger (yet sometimes weak), I'm more aware (yet sometimes oblivious), I'm more emotional, more sensitive, more compassionate, more understanding, more myself, and more full of love than I think I've ever been.

And Jackie, I miss you and I'm still in love with you today because you make me happy.

With my tears and with my heart 💦❤️

Happy Birthday Jackie

Watching "Ulee's Gold" on Jackie's birthday. Ulee (Peter Fonda) is a widowed beekeeper in the Florida panhandle town of Wewahitchka where he produces Tupelo Honey. 

Jackie lived in Wewahitchka for several years before moving north to find me.

I thought the story was that Jackie knew Ulee but Ulee is a fictional character. However, Jackie did know the Lanier family who served as advisors and extras and who's land and beekeeping operation were used in the film. This was Jackie's home town and her neighbors.

Tupelo Honey is produced from the tupelo gum tree which grows profusely along the Chipola and Apalachicola rivers of northwest Florida. This river valley is the only place in the world where Tupelo Honey is produced commercially. 

At our next "Live At Miss Jackie's House" (coming soon), I'll be giving out some small jars of Tupelo Honey directly from the Lanier family in Wewahitchka ...

... because she truly was as sweet as tupelo honey.

Valentine's Day 2018

And you would cause the sun to see your light
And then be shamed
You cover darkness with a thousand secret flames
With your love, oh my love, oh my love, my love
And I would cause the winds to blow a hundred different days
And bring the perfumes of the gardens of the ways
Of your love, oh my love, oh my love, my love
Crystal and the clay, nights and the days
All on the prince's seal
Eagle of the sky, lion of the earth
This is what the seal is worth, what the seal is worth
Holds all of the dreams of a man
Tapestries, wishes of man
Pictures and visions of man
The spirit of the soul of the man
And he would vow to love her for the rest of all his days

The Young Prince and Princess
from Song of Scheherazade

@ 10:30-13:00 Part V. The Young Prince and Princess
Song of Scheherazade (Live at the Paris Theatre 1976)

Opportunities for love are abundant in my life

Five Years


5 years.
Feels like 5 days.
Feels like 5 decades.

To love more is the only way to heal from grief (there is no cure). Grief comes only from the core of love. The pain of grief must be transformed into something good; the love needs to go somewhere. So love all you can, everywhere you can, everyone you can, all that you can, as wide as you can, as long as you can. Never fear love, the only thing that can hurt more, is to not love (and not be loved).

To those still in and those new to my life, who except my love and who love me, with all of my faults, foibles, jagged edges and broken pieces, though she’s not here, you are; I am truly grateful and I thank you!

Jackie, I still love you and miss you,
... because you make me happy. 
You still live in me, in my heart, and in my soul.


Spent the afternoon with Danielle & Jennifer at the Elmwood Park Zoo...
...made me happy!

Anniversary - May 26, 2017

There is no sorrow so great
    as the memory of lost joy.
But if there had been no joy then,
    there'd be no pain now.
I will be ever grateful for
    the beauty of both, 
for they are, we are, one love.


Today, after more than 11 years, Kate and I said goodbye to Jenny.

Today. Because the love never ends.

When I think Of You

Magic... moments
They're the things I will remember
Where's the time we spent together... laughing
Then you walk into my dream... dear

And I see your face
Young and so free, smiling at me
So long since I've... had you near

Now you've come back again
Where the love never ends
And you're right here
When I think of you

When I... need you, I just close my eyes
And you're... here
Right beside me when I'm lost in... shadows
Of the memories of you... oh my dear

And I see your face
Young and so free, smiling at me
In your eyes I walk without fear
We're together again
Where the love never ends
'Cause you're right here
When I think of you

Hold on... just for a while
Hold on... hold on

I try to forget the night that you left
It's all so unreal, with you gone
I can dream once again...
Where the love never ends
'Cause you're right here
When I think of you
When I think of you
When I think of you

Christmas 2016

"Turn Of The Century"

Realising a form out of stone,
Set hands moving. 
Roan shaped his heart,
Through his working hands. 
Worked to mold his passion into clay, 
Like the sun. 

In his room, his lady,
She would dance and sing so completely. 
"So be still," he now cries,
"I have time, oh let clay transform thee so." 

In the deep cold of night, 
Winter calls, he cries "Don't deny me!" 
For his lady, deep her illness. 
Time has caught her,
And will for all reasons take her. 

In the still light of dawn, she dies. 
Helpless hands soul revealing. 

Like leaves we touch, we learn. 
We once knew the story. 
As winter calls he will starve,
All but to see the stone be life.

Now Roan, no more tears. 
Set to work his strength,
So transformed him.
Realizing a form out of stone,
His work so absorbed him.

Could she hear him? 
Could she see him? 
All aglow was his room,
Dazed in this light. 
He would touch her,
He would hold her.

Laughing as they danced,
Highest colors touching others. 

Did her eyes at the turn of the century,
Tell me plainly.
How we'll meet, how we'll love, 
Oh, let life so transform me. 

Like leaves we touch, we dance. 
We once knew the story. 
As autumn called and we both,
Remembered all those many years ago. 
I'm sure we know. 

Was the sign in the day with a touch,
As I kiss your fingers. 
We walk hands in the sun,
Memories when we're young, 
Love lingers so. 

Was it sun through the haze,
That made all your looks, 
As warm as moonlight? 
As a pearl deep your eyes, 
Tears have flown away, 
All the same light. 

Did her eyes at the turn of the century,
Tell me plainly.
When we meet, how we'll look, 
As we smile time will leave me clearly. 

Like leaves we touch, we see,
We will know the story. 
As autumn calls we'll both remember,
All those many years ago.

Annie Haslam & Steve Howe

Love Eternal

I will always remember how incredibly lucky I was... and I remember how incredibly happy I was (well, most of the time)... and I'm, at times, amazed at how incredibly lucky and happy I can be now. But the silent roar of the pain and sadness, the loneliness and sorrow that echoes through me is constant. I am forever blessed and most grateful for the time, for the life, for the love we had together and no amount of sadness or sorrow could ever make me want to give that back.

Jackie, I still love you today because you make me happy!

I carry your heart in my heart. Love Eternal. ❤️❤️

Christmas 2015

I Love You

Remembering Jackie.
She always loved the cardinals in our yard and at the feeders.

First Kiss - August 8, 1981

I still remember the feeling of our first kiss.
It was the beginning of eternity.
I love you and miss you,

87th Old Fiddler's Picnic Hibernia Park, Chester County.